Gone, Gone, Gone
by brokentallahassee
Summary: One-shot: Snow and Charming's relationship struggles during the aftermath of losing their daughter during the trip to Neverland. - (Tumblr request)


"Please, Snow, stop blaming yourself," Charming whispered, reaching to move his wife's hair out of her face. With tears in her eyes, she pulled away, looking at the scuffed tile in the apartment.

"If I had never given her up, we would still have her. Our daughter would be here. We would be a family. This is my fault, don't tell me it isn't."

"We chose to give her up. We were giving her her best cha-"

"Her best chance. I know," Snow interrupted, "How was sending our newborn through a portal to another world, a world that only put her through hell, her best chance? I'm so stupid for believing it was."

"If we hadn't given her up, we would still be cursed! Who's to say she would've ended up with either of us once we were in Storybrooke? Look what happened to Jefferson and Grace."

"She might not be with us, but she would be alive!" Snow yelled, storming out the door.

Charming wanted to go after her, but something was stopping him. It was his fault. Emma's death was his fault. He put her in the wardrobe just minutes after her birth and he pulled her out of the ocean just minutes before her death. He hadn't been fast enough. He hadn't been fast enough to stop Regina's curse, the curse that forced his little girl to grow up alone and he hadn't been fast enough to save her from drowning.

All Charming could see every time he closed his eyes was his daughter's first and last breath, paralleled in his mind. Holding her small body when she was warm, strong, and loud. And now, having to hold his little girl, no longer an infant but an adult with more life experience than she should have had, in his arms. She was cold, limp, quiet.

* * *

Two months had passed since Emma took her last breath. Snow woke up every night with the image of her daughter's lifeless body on board the Jolly Roger. She blamed herself every minute of every day.

Charming tried to help her, but she saw it in his eyes. The same way she felt mirrored back. He blamed himself for everything that had happened, but it wasn't his fault.

"Snow?" she heard a voice calling as she walked aimlessly through the park. She turned to see Neal, ushering Henry over to the playground, trying to keep him away from the pain that was written obviously all over Snow's face.

"Hi, uh-" Snow answered, avoiding eye contact, "I thought Regina had him today."

"Yeah…she just didn't want him to be alone when she went into work."

"I'm so sorry," Snow whispered, looking at her feet.

"Snow-" Neal said, ready to convince her it wasn't her fault.

"No, please," she said, waving to Henry who was on the swing. She rushed off down the street, tears edging towards the brim of her eyes.

She hurried quickly down the street, avoiding the comments of people and all the places she had spent time with her daughter.

* * *

Hours passed. Charming, who had ran after his wife just minutes after she had left, searched the entire town of Storybrooke for her.

He couldn't admit it to himself, but he was terrified of losing her. Not just physically, but emotionally. She had been so distant since losing Emma, she had never been that way with him and it scared him. He was afraid she might not be able to find her way back to him.

Charming reached for his cell phone, tempted to try calling her again, but when he did, a picture fell out of his back pocket and landed on the pavement. It was a picture of Emma, one he had found in a box of her things when they had returned to Storybrooke.

She had to have been about four years old in the picture. She was half smiling, the same "don't look at me or I might punch you in the face" smile Snow had given him many times and gorgeous blonde hair hung passed her shoulders in the most elegant ringlet curls he had ever seen. She looked straight forward, her green eyes, the same as her mother's, piercing through the picture and ripping through his heart, reminding him of the little girl he had never gotten to know.

"I will find her, I will always find her," he whispered to the picture, pushing forward, determined to help the woman he loved more than anything in the world.

* * *

Snow was lost in thought as she trudged through the woods. She hadn't the slightest idea where she was going, all she could do was keep walking.

She didn't realize how much her tears were affecting her vision let alone how wet the mud beneath her feet was until she was slipping. She tried to move her hands fast enough, grabbing for something to stop her, but it was too late.

Snow could feel the blood pouring from her head as her eyes closed, pushing her further and further into unconsciousness.

* * *

He didn't know what, but something told him to search the woods. It was dark and cold and he had doubts that she was even there, but he couldn't force himself to stop looking. He felt that she was there, he knew it.

Charming stumbled through the dark quickly, calling out his wife's name. He continued to receive no answers to his desperate plea, but he wasn't one to give up without a fight.

It seemed like an eternity before he finally found her.

Charming saw someone Snow's size lying crumpled up on the ground. He called for her, but she was unresponsive causing panic to set in.

* * *

8am

He sat in a room in the ICU holding Snow's hand. She looked so fragile yet so strong at the same time. She hadn't woken up yet and the doctors had been vague on the extent of her head injury, although they said it was probably a concussion.

"Please," Charming whispered, burying his head in his hands, "Please, I can't lose you too."

Other than the machines monitoring her condition and the distant ticking of the clock, everything was silent. Snow made no movement or noise.

* * *

He stood by the window, ignoring the passing time. He didn't care how much time passed, he couldn't give up hope that she would be okay.

"Charming," a voice whispered from across the room. He spun around immediatly upon recognizing her voice. Snow was lying in bed, attempting to understand where she was as she whispered, "You found me."

"Did you ever doubt I would?" he answered, rushing to her side. He grabbed her hand and kissed her forehead.

They stared at each other letting the time pass until Snow pulled her gaze away and said, "I'm sorry."

"No, don't do th—"

"Charming, please, hear me out?" she asked. He looked at her with loving eyes and nodded, "I'm sorry. I'm never going to not blame myself for what happened, okay? It's just—"

"What?"

"It only seems like a few minutes, but I was someone's mom and now— now I'm not."

"Yes, you are," Charming said, tears threatening to spill from his eyes, "You're still her mother, she's just not here anymore. You're still someone's mom. I'm still someone's dad." He climbed into the bed with her, holding Snow as her tears fell onto his shirt and sobs escaped from her mouth.

"It's going to be hard, I know it is, but we're going to get through this," Charming reassured her, kissing her head.

"I love you," Snow cried as she held onto him tighter.

"I love you too."


End file.
